


Last One Out Turn Off The Lights

by Cassiopeia_writes



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-18
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-21 08:34:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4822382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cassiopeia_writes/pseuds/Cassiopeia_writes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Host Club is forced to disband after Tamaki is accepted into the Suoh household, and the members are ordered to clear out the music room by the end of the day. As evening falls, two hosts meet and are left questioning their feelings for each other as the club comes to an end and they are all forced to go their separate ways. Despite the differences between them, can these two find a common ground and accept their growing attraction? And can they all find a way to restore the club?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. End of the Host Club

**Author's Note:**

> Summary: This story is set when Tamaki is accepted into the main Suoh household. He quits the club on his grandmother’s orders and hands the club’s running over to Kyoya. Soon after, the club is ordered to disband by the chairman, Tamaki’s father, and the members are ordered to clear out the music room by the end of the day. As evening falls, two hosts meet and are left questioning their feelings for each other as the club comes to an end and they are all forced to go their separate ways. Despite the differences between them, can these two find a common ground and accept their growing attraction? And can they all find a way to restore the club?
> 
> Note: Despite some interweaving attractions and relationships for other characters, this is mainly a Kyoya x Haruhi fic. Other stories and pairings develop and are discovered along the way.
> 
> As I’m a fan of both the Anime and the Manga, this is a story incorporating aspects of both storylines, so may have unfamiliar elements, if you only follow one storyline or the other. Feel free to ask questions.
> 
> AN: I don't own Ouran or its characters.

Kyoya stood alone in the middle of the third music room, watching the door as it slowly swung closed after the last of the hosts. The infectious laughter of the twins echoed back up the corridor and abruptly cut off as the door clicked shut behind them. For a moment he stood still, staring at that all-too-familiar doorway, before moving back to his chair in the corner and sinking down onto it. He slipped his fingers beneath his glasses, rubbing tiredly at his eyes before picking up his cup and taking a sip of the bitter coffee. It was almost cold now, but he needed something to ward off his weariness and settle his nerves.

Truthfully, he had been expecting this day for quite a while, but now that it had finally arrived - he had no idea how to proceed.

OoOoOoO

Two days ago, to the surprise and dismay of the other club members, Tamaki had handed the club’s presidency entirely over to Kyoya, as he announced his formal acceptance into the Suoh household and his resignation from the host club. In the face of the others member’s anger and concern, Tamaki had seemed optimistic that the club would continue successfully in his absence. However Kyoya had always known that when this day came, it would really mean the end of the host club itself, and Tamaki’s complete ensnarement by the Suoh Matriarch.

It was hardly surprising then, that the morning after Tamaki's announcement and Haruhi’s subsequent ill-advised confrontation with the Chairman, the order came from the Headmaster for the host club to be permanently suspended, and for the hosts to remove all their belongings from the music room by the end of the week.

The announcement had been met by the utter dismay and disbelief of the regular princesses that attended the club. The other hosts’ reactions had been more severe and it had taken all of Kyoya’s considerable skill to quell the more drastic retributions promised, after all, the headmaster’s decree was absolute. Eventually, after many hours of angry discussion amongst themselves, the boys finally realised that there really was no way around the headmaster’s order and they faced the inevitable. The Host Club had come to an end.

Honey and Mori had come earlier while Kyoya had been cataloguing inventory, and they were followed soon after by the twins. They had all worked in silence for the most part, but once the majority of the sorting was completed, they had all sat and shared coffee for old times’ sake while reminiscing on some of their more memorable host club exploits. The time spent was bittersweet, while the stories brought smiles and laughter, Tamaki and Haruhi’s absence was palpable and the conversation became stilted, the laughter forced, and the others soon wished to escape the increasingly miserable atmosphere; and so they had left in their usual pairs, and now only Kyoya remained.

He glanced about the room that had been the scene of many of their parties and escapades. It was unbearably empty now. The twins had removed all of the costumes, most of which they or their mother had made. Honey had cleared the little pantry of all cakes and sweets, which Mori had obliging carried home for him, along with a few costume weapons he wanted for himself. Now, all that was left of the club were various odds and ends; the numerous tea sets that Kyoya had ordered over the past two years to accommodate each guest’s tastes; and, of course, copious amounts of that damned instant coffee that everyone had seemed so keen on. They were stacked neatly, compiled and organised throughout the room in Kyoya’s own particular fashion.

And he had no idea what to do with any of it.

A slight sound roused him from his thoughts, he raised his head as the main door opened a crack and Haruhi peeked in. She didn't seem to notice him sitting there and entered the room slowly, easing the door quietly closed behind her. Kyoya said nothing as he watched her turn in a slow circle, looking around the darkening chamber. Like him, she hadn't bothered turning on the lights and now the setting sun’s rays cast the room in dim amber shadows and hues.

He regarded her for a long moment, trying to imagine what she was thinking.

Was she relieved that her debt was gone? That she no longer had to play host for a club that she had made clear she thought was inane? Did she care that she was one of the reasons that Tamaki had been forced to leave the club, and that her interference was the reason the club had been suspended for good? That everything that Tamaki and Kyoya had built together, was now rendered meaningless? Kyoya felt an unfamiliar anger bubbling up inside him and set his cup back in its saucer with a loud clink that made Haruhi gasp. She whirled quickly to face him, her hands coming up to rest over her heart, but when she saw him sitting there she released a shaky sigh of relief and flashed him a brief sad smile that caused his anger to melt away as quickly as it had come.

Of course she knew, Kyoya sighed. Haruhi was the brightest girl he had ever met, and even if she hadn't been, Tamaki hadn't been exactly subtle. To tell someone, emphatically, that it had nothing to do with them. Twice. Well, that was pretty much guaranteed to tell them that it had everything to do with them.

It was hardly surprising then, that after Tamaki’s announcement, Haruhi had almost immediately run to see the President of the Suoh Company, to discover what her reasoning was for removing Tamaki from the club he so loved. Nor was it surprising that neither Haruhi - nor the Twins who had tagged along with her - had ever got to see the Suoh Matriarch. Not when her son, the Chairman - Tamaki’s father - was there to intercept them.

As foolish as Haruhi’s impetuousness seemed at the time, in light of how easily her questions had been deflected, it had at least shown that she had wanted to help, and Kyoya had to admire her bravery as she had faced down the Chairman. Yet it had all come to nothing in the end, and had, in fact, hastened the end of the host club. Not that he could explain that to her, not with Tamaki’s pleas to the contrary.

Now in the day’s waning light, they stared at each other in silence for a long moment, then Kyoya leaned back in his chair, gesturing for Haruhi to join him at the table.

"You missed the others, they’ve just left." he said. She nodded as she made her way to the seat opposite him and sat, bringing her feet up and wrapping her arms around her knees, hugging them to her.

"I know. I waited till they were gone. I couldn't face them again, after what happened yesterday," She smiled, a grim parody of her usually bright grin. "I really didn't think you'd be here either. I thought you'd be with…" Her smile faltered and she nervously brushed an errant strand of hair behind her ear as she looked away.

"Tamaki’s gone home. He's still required to return promptly after school, to attend his grandmother's training in the Suoh business.” Kyoya said, swallowing tightly at the mention of the Suoh Matriarch, “I doubt we will see much of him in a social capacity, at least for a while."

"I see." Haruhi said, resting her chin on her knees, "I thought that now she had gotten her way, he would at least be allowed visitors, or be allowed out to see his friends." She plucked absentmindedly at one of her shirt cuffs and then shook her head laughing softly, "I thought as long as I wasn’t here, she'd at least let him out to play."

Kyoya smiled grimly at her bad joke, but Haruhi didn't notice; instead she stared out the window at the sun setting over the Ouran Academy grounds. Her fingers were still playing with her shirt cuff and Kyoya had the strange urge to still her hand, as her fidgeting was making him restless, but he restrained himself and merely watched her.

She had always been a bit of a conundrum, this common girl - obviously very intelligent to get past the Ouran entrance exams and win their rare scholarship. She was un-intimidated by the wealth of her class-mates and determined to excel in her studies so she could follow her dream of becoming a lawyer. Yet, she didn't seem bothered to try and fit in, or ingratiate herself with the rich and powerful students who could have helped her achieve her goal. She turned up to one of the best schools in the country, hair cropped horribly short, wearing hideous glasses and dressed in her father's old clothes, looking like a boy; and she was completely unfazed by the fact that she did not fit in here, and made absolutely no effort to try to do so. Until of course, she was pulled into the host club.

Kyoya had always been raised to look down on the lower classes, yet he couldn't help but admire Haruhi’s quiet intelligence. She was consistently first in her class and had the courage to go after her dreams. Still, there was something more to Fujioka, Haruhi, something that anyone who took the time to get to know her soon discovered.

They had dubbed her The Natural when she joined their club, because she seemed to put people immediately at ease and seemed interested and caring towards everyone she met, even those that might not treat her with the same regard. The strange thing was that it was all genuine.

All the other members used aspects of their personalities in their host club personas, but it was all really an act, but, while Haruhi may have been hiding the biggest secret of them all, the way she treated those around her with respect and consideration - that was real. Kyoya could never understand it, why would she bother wasting true emotions on the guests? He had thought that she was merely trying to increase her number of designations so she could clear her debt quickly, but the more he watched her the more he realized that this was simply who Haruhi was.

She was brutally honest at times, but never with the intention of hurting anyone. She was observant, often the only one that could tell the twins apart, or the first to see when people were in trouble or trying to hide their pain. Her rare flashes of anger rivalled his own, and it had made him smirk to see the others quail before her, despite her tiny stature and lack of martial training, but those spells were soon to pass as she, unlike him, was quick to forgive. She was insightful seeing to the heart of problems, even when those closest to the issues couldn't. And though Kyoya was rarely bothered with philosophical musings, he had thought on occasion that if Tamaki was the obvious heart of the Host Club, Haruhi had quickly become its soul.

He shook his head to free it of these pointless thoughts, and came to his feet. Haruhi turned to face him, but he didn't look at her, instead he moved to the entrance to flick on the lights.

"I guess I'd better finish up here. Someone will be coming shortly to see if we've cleared the room." He said as he moved back to the table to clear the cups that they had used earlier. As he reached for one, he suddenly felt a small warm hand wrap around his wrist. His eyes snapped up to meet Haruhi's soft brown steady gaze.

"I want to help Kyoya-senpai." She said.

He looked at her, a frown creasing his forehead, "Well, I'll gather these, and you can wash them while I sort out the rest of the things, I have people coming to collect the -"

"That's not what I mean," she said, "I want to help fix the host club, to help Tamaki-senpai." Her fingers tightened their grip slightly, her gaze steadily holding his, "I need to fix this, Senpai." Her eyes seemed to bore into his and he was lost for words for a moment; he could plainly read the desperation in her eyes and for some reason it caused the anger that was simmering beneath his calm exterior to bubble up once more.

"It's not your problem to fix," he said, pulling his hand from her grasp, "It's done. The host club is finished, and unless Grandmother Suoh has a sudden personality transplant, that's the way it's going to stay." He grabbed some of the cups that lay on the table between them and made his way towards to door to the small kitchenette.

Then Haruhi laughed.

The sound brought him up short. He had never imagined a sound like that could come from Haruhi. Her laughter, normally light and pleasant, was now harsh and bitter. He turned to face her. She hadn’t moved from where she had been sitting, but had dropped her feet back to the floor and was hunched forward, her head dipped so that her hair hung over her face and he was unable to see her expression.

"Of course, I should have known better. The Shadow King wouldn't put himself on the line, not unless there was something to gain." She said, shaking her head slowly, "I guess going against the Suoh's, even for the sake of Tamaki or your other friends, isn't worth it for you."

"Haruhi?” he said, staring at her incredulously. He placed the cups on a table and took a step towards her, "Haruhi, I…"

"No I understand, Kyoya-senpai," Haruhi finally raised her face to look at him, and he was startled by the tears in her eyes. "You've always been honest, Senpai. You've made it clear that you only act if there is merit in it for you." Kyoya remained silent, an icy chill washing over him as he saw the anguish and cold anger in her eyes, but Haruhi didn't look away, "So I'll make a deal with you Senpai. You can add anything you wish to my debt, if you help me fix this."

"Haruhi, your debt is cleared," He said faintly, unused to dealing with naked emotions like this, he had the sudden urge to leave the room and escape from this unnecessary drama. "You are not the cause of this. Tamaki's grandmother has never approved of the club, especially Tamaki’s part in it. It was inevitable that she would find some way to get rid of it."

Feeling like a coward he turned his back on her, "Go home Haruhi, it's been a long couple of days for all of us. You'll feel better once you've had some rest."

Crash!

He spun to face her once more. There by her feet, lay one of the cups that had been sitting on the table a moment before. She rubbed angrily at her eyes before looking at him once more.

"I'm sorry Kyoya-Senpai, I seem to have broken it, please feel free to add it to my debt." She said quietly.

"Don't be ridiculous, it's just a cup -" then as he watched, she reached out and swiped two more cups onto the floor, where they shattered, cold coffee seeping into the carpet and splashing her shoes.

"And now? Half a wedgewood tea-set is surely worth some debt?" Her voice was empty of emotion, but he could see she was trembling and her face was becoming steadily flushed.

He took a step towards her and she reached out again, picking up a saucer this time and dropping it on the floor where it smashed and merged with the other debris. He paused, not quiet able to believe that this was the same Haruhi he had known, the one that was always so calm and collected. Her eyes never left his as she wiped the rest of the rest of the porcelain from the table onto the floor. Only one of the saucers failed to shatter, it rolled a decreasing elliptical path around the other remnants, before teetering and falling over. Haruhi’s gaze broke from his as she watched its circular route, and when it wobbled to a halt she moved without looking back up at him and raised her foot to step on it.

"Enough!" Kyoya said, and moved quickly towards her, grabbing her arm, "What the hell is wrong with you?" He pulled her away and she stumbled, grasping the lapels of his blazer to steady herself even as his arm wrapped instinctively around her, pulling her towards him.

They remained still for a long moment, Kyoya gazing down at her, while Haruhi stared fixedly at her own hands which were still clenched around the fabric of his blazer. He was about to step away from her grasp when he felt a tremor pass through her body and he saw her flushed skin suddenly drain of colour. Her knees buckled and his other arm came to wrap around her, holding her close to him and keeping her steady.

"Haruhi?" he said softly. Her face was now pressed against his chest, and he could feel her body shake with silent sobs as it moulded against his, the wetness of her tears seeping through his shirt and cooling his skin.

For once in his life, Kyoya was unsure of himself. He didn't know what to do to comfort this girl, his friend. If it had been Tamaki, he would just have pointed out how stupid he was being, whacked him on the back of his head and told him to snap out of it. Then again, Tamaki would have an emotional episode every couple of days and generally they were about nothing of any consequence. This was Haruhi, and what was upsetting her was a big deal and she was so desperate to fix it, so sure that if she only work hard enough, if only Kyoya would help, that they could do it.

He pulled her closer, one arm wrapped around her waist, his other hand cradling her head, trailing his fingers gently through her hair as he leaned down to murmur soothingly in her ear. He wasn't even sure what he said, merely concentrating on the sensation of her body pressed against his and the silky strands of her hair passing through his fingers as he tried to calm her and waited for the tremors to pass. He didn't notice her hands dropping from his jacket, until they suddenly wound around his waist. He smiled slightly as he felt them tighten around him and felt Haruhi's breathing settle into a calm rhythm, glad that the irrational moment between them had finally passed and things could return to normal.

He untangled his hand from her hair and brought it to her chin, tilting her face up towards his as he leaned back to look down and ask if she was ok. But the moment their eyes met, he stilled and couldn't seem to find the will to speak.

Her hair was dishevelled from his ministrations; her skin was blotchy from her tears, but her eyes - though red rimmed from her crying spell - her eyes were burning with emotion, and all he could do was stare at her. The sensation of her slim body pressed against his suddenly filled his awareness and set his pulse racing, yet he remained perfectly still. Her gaze was unwavering as it met his and he felt his skin grow hot under her scrutiny. Her dark eyes seemed to draw him in, requesting something from him that his mind couldn't make sense of and he felt himself sinking into that gaze.

A knock at the door brought him back to his senses. He drew a sharp breath, realizing that his lips were mere millimetres away from hers. He dropped his arms to his sides, stepping back suddenly, her arms letting him go at the same instant and he cursed under his breath and a second later cursed himself for that reaction.

"Come in." He said, turning towards the door, thankful that his voice remained steady even as he felt his heart thudding loudly in his chest.

One of his household maids stuck her head in the door, "We're here to collect the items you requested, Master Ootori." She said quietly.

He beckoned her forward and pointed towards the tea sets that lay waiting on a nearby table, "Package those for storage, until I figure out what to do with them." then he pointed towards the broken set that lay nearby, "Dispose of those and set any remaining pieces aside." He turned back to where Haruhi had been seconds before, unsure of what to say; but she was no longer there and he turned quickly to the exit, only to see her slight form slipping out the doorway.

He reached out a hand, about to call her back, but fell silent. His hand fell back to his side as his fingers seemed to burn with the sensation of holding her body against his.


	2. Reflections: Part One, Haruhi.

Haruhi stood still, not breathing, unable to move as she stared into storm-grey depths that inched steadily closer until they were all that filled her vision. Her heartbeat, so unsteady before, calmed and became a rhythmic resounding pulse that seemed to fill the room as she looked into the eyes that were focused solely on her. 

A knock sounded at the door and she blinked, drawing in a brief shuddering breath. Her thoughts remained vague and unfocused until suddenly she realized just how closely she and Kyoya-Senpai were standing together. His lips were a mere moment away from hers and it seemed the most natural thing in the world, to simply reach up and make that connection. She leaned in, just as Kyoya cursed, his breath caressing her lips, his arms slipping from around her, taking with them the warmth that had surrounded her moments before. 

Haruhi blinked again - in shock this time - and dropped her arms from where they were wrapped around his waist and she took a step back at the same moment he did, hearing him mutter something –another curse by the sounds of it - under his breath. A second later he was turning to speak to whoever was at the door leaving Haruhi staring at him, her mind awash with confusion. She glanced around the room dazedly and almost at once spotted the shattered debris of the china on the floor. The memory of the last few moments came rushing back and embarrassment flooded though her, settling heavily in the pit of her stomach. Without a second thought she turned and fled the music room, brushing past two other Ootori maids in the doorway with no word of apology in her haste to escape.

OoOoOoO

'Stupid!' she thought angrily, as she ran down the hallway, wiping away the remnants of her tears, 'How could I have been so stupid!'

She flung open a door at the end of the corridor that led to a dim and rarely used stairwell. The door swung shut behind her and she leaned against it for a moment, catching her breath and trying to calm her now racing heart. Pushing herself away from the door she sank down to sit on the top step of the stairs, not caring if she dirtied her uniform. Staring at her hands she saw they were trembling slightly and grasped them together tightly, refusing to let her emotions overcome her again.

How the hell had she let this happen, she wondered miserably.

She had only gone to the music room to reminisce about the past year with the Host Club and to clear her head. Honestly, she just wanted to be alone for a moment. Hikaru and Kaoru had been her constant shadows for the past week - longer than that in fact - ever since Tamaki had been accepted into the main Suoh household and had been for all intents and purposes put under house-arrest. 

They had all thought it would be a temporary arrangement; that his grandmother merely wanted to lay down ground-rules. They had all been so sure that he would return - that life would return to normal - but suddenly, Tamaki-Senpai announced he was leaving the Host Club; and although she could see the disappointment written all over the twin's faces, they seemed to be watching her even more closely. Especially after they had come with her to see Suoh President yesterday afternoon, had seen how first the Chairman and then Tamaki had shown up and turned her away -had dismissed her.

Then the announcement had come that the Host Club was cancelled indefinitely, and although she had tried not to show it, she knew that somehow it was her fault. The twins seemed to sense her worry, and since then, they tried to follow her everywhere. It was like they were waiting for her to have some strange girlish breakdown! She laughed under her breath - as if she would ever act like that!

'No,' she thought, still smiling, that sort of drama was more her father's wheelhouse. 

Then mortification flooded though her and heat suffused her cheeks as she remembered her actions in the music room. Like a child throwing a tantrum, she had smashed the china, demanding Kyoya-Senpai's help. She could still see the consternation in Ootori-Senpai's eyes as he watched her. Haruhi’s head sank to her knees as she felt wave after wave of embarrassment wash over her.

She hadn't expected to see him there. She had met the other hosts earlier, the twins still full of anger at the disbanding of the club, Honey and Mori were as disappointed, but as they were already in university it wasn’t as harsh a blow for them. They had all hung out for a while, just talking, but when they tried to drag her with them to the music room, she had pulled away, claiming that she had to go home as her father was expecting her. Then she waited in a nearby corridor for them to leave the club room. She had thought that Kyoya-Senpai would have been with Tamaki, but when she saw him there sitting in the corner, her surprise had quickly turned to relief.

If there was one thing Kyoya Ootori was capable of, it was fixing seemingly irreparable situations. As she had sat there opposite him, staring out the window, she wondered what his plan was, as surely he had one for getting the club back together. She couldn't imagine him without his notebook in hand, hovering around the edges of the music room as the other host's entertained. She had begun to wonder how she could help him, running numerous scenarios through her head.

When he began to clear the china from the table, she had reached for him, almost instinctively, sure that he would offer her a solution that she could not yet see - but he had refused, and had seemed so angry, something she had never imagined Kyoya-Senpai would willingly show - and when he turned away from her, telling her to go home; the knowledge that she was somehow the cause of this whole mess, yet he wouldn't help her fix it, had made her feel guilty and angry all at once. 

Before she knew it a cup was in her hand, and just as quickly she had dashed it to the floor. The look of surprise on Kyoya-Senpai's face had almost been worth it, surely now he would listen to her, now that she was in his debt once more. He had the resources and cunning to solve this problem. She knew he did! Just like he had solved many of the problems they had faced before. Hadn't he done it time and time again, why not now? And she wanted to help - but he had brushed her offer aside. 

He wouldn't help his best friend, wouldn't help her - and she found herself swiping more of the china onto the floor in a petulant demand that he listen to her - but still he remained silent, and even more of the china crashed to the floor. Suddenly she was pulled away into his arms, and just as suddenly, a weeks' worth of sleepless nights worrying about Tamaki-Senpai, the Host Club and what she had done to cause this had all caught up with her and her strength waned. The moment she felt his arms around her those hated tears came to her eyes and wouldn't stop flowing, and she found herself holding onto him and crying in his embrace.

Of all the people she could imagine falling apart in front of, Kyoya Ootori had to be the last of a short list; and yet, there, with his arm wrapped round her and his fingers combing through her hair, she relaxed for the first time in days. All her tears of hurt, worry and anger just flooded out of her. His breath had been warm against her ear as he murmured words of reassurance, that everything would be okay, that she would be okay. His words faded away to nonsense as his warmth surrounded her, calmed her.

Then he pulled away slightly, she felt his fingers tilt her face up till her gaze met his. His familiar smirk was in place, his eyes alight with kind amusement, but as she looked at him, both faded. His smirk softened to a slight smile, and his light grey eyes had darkened, seeming to pull her into their depths as he grew closer. Too close. She had found herself sinking further and further, until that knock at the door, brought her back to her senses.

Had she almost kissed him? Really?

Sitting in the stairwell, Haruhi shut her eyes tight, willing the mortification of the past half hour away. She really didn't know why she cared so much. She had never wanted to be part of the host club, had only been dragged in to their crazy society so she could pay off her debt. She should be glad that debt was finally cleared, right? 

The hosts were annoying, interfering in her life again and again, wanting to experience commoner life as if it was some great adventure for them. Well, except for Kyoya-Senpai, who, infuriatingly, seemed to take absolutely everything, including her father, in his stride. For her it was just everyday existence and each time they exclaimed over some simple thing in her life, it made her feel just how insurmountable the gap was, between her world and theirs.

When her mother had died, the one thing she had focused on, had clung to, was that she was going to get into a good school and follow in her mother's footsteps to become a lawyer. Even at that young age she had dreamed of going to the Ouran Academy, the most prodigious school in the region. So she left her childhood behind and her life had revolved around studying and preparing for the school of her dreams and taking care of her father. She never consulted him on her plans for her future education, as, well, he seemed to be going through some changes of his own.

Even when she became aware of her father's new personality traits, she had brushed them aside, it was irrelevant. If her father wanted to live as a man or a woman, if he wanted to live with a man or a woman, it made no difference to her as long as he was happy. She knew he had loved her mother completely and that something had broken inside him when she died. If this new way of life helped him piece himself back together, she was happy for him.

She ignored the taunts other children threw at her in elementary school, ignored the hair pulling and the name-calling. She suffered more of the same in middle school - well, less of the hair pulling, more of the name-calling and even more of the suggestive taunts. Still, she ignored them all, knowing that soon, if her grades held up, if she just held her course and studied hard enough, she would be going to a high-school where no-one knew her. Where no-one would know her history and she could just study, graduate, get into a good university and become a lawyer, and then everything would be just like she planned.

It hadn't turned out that way. First because her father hadn't known of her plans to attend Ouran, he had blown her uniform budget on girly clothes for her - and him – ones that she couldn't return. Then, one of the annoying neighbour's children had stuck gum in her hair and as she couldn't afford to go to hairdressers to fix it, she had chopped it herself. Then as she had outgrown her old uniform and had nothing else suitable, she found herself wearing her father's old clothes to school.

She had been afraid, but her determination had helped her walk the path up to the school where others were chauffeured to. Had made her excel in every class, where others of her class-mates merely passed the time. Had driven her to succeed, where most expected her to fail, and then, in her desire to study in peace and quiet, her fate had driven her to the third floor music room, where she had knocked over that stupid vase and had become embroiled in the stupid host club. 

She had hated it, had hated these rich entitled boys that would never have to work as hard as her to achieve their place in life, and yet were holding her ransom over a piece of broken pottery.

Then as she got to know them, she realised that each of them had something to prove in their own way. None of them had an easy path through life no matter how much money they had at their disposal, and slowly, she had come to admire them. They were intelligent, driven and loyal; and when they found out she was a girl, they still seemed to accept her, to value her, without judgement - well, apart from Tamaki - who seemed to take it hard.

Little by little they seemed to invade her life. 

Whereas before, she had no real friends, now she had six boys who seemed intent on occupying every moment of her time, one way or another, but she had gotten used to it, had become accustomed to having them around. She had realized that the things they did and said were never meant to cause her offence, that they truly wanted to know about her life and wanted to be part of it.

Yet, although they seemed to have overrun her life completely, had even recruited her father as a willing accomplice in their endeavour to find out everything there was to know about Haruhi – now, looking back, she couldn't say the same for them. They knew almost every aspect of her life, whereas she merely caught glimpses of theirs, and now, for some reason, Tamaki was being forced to leave the club and essentially his friends. 

She had asked why and in his attempt to tell her it had nothing to do with her; the sweet, kind idiot had told her in no uncertain terms that it was all her fault; and because she knew nothing of his real life, apart from the few rumours the other hosts told her, about Tamaki and his grandmother, she couldn't tell what she had done wrong. 

Her phone buzzed in her pocket but she ignored it. 

Why? Why had Tamaki said that? What had she done? What knowledge could his grandmother have on her that she could use against her grandson? Tamaki was so invested in the club that only a threat against someone he cared about would cause him to cast it and his friends aside, but surely the business connections between the boy’s families were too strong and valuable for even Grandmother Suoh to jeopardise by threatening one of them.

Then it hit her. Haruhi began to laugh bitterly in the darkened stairwell. Grandmother Suoh was going to use Haruhi, was going to use the fact that Haruhi had been dressing as a boy to threaten Tamaki into compliance… And Tamaki was so loyal - he wouldn't do anything to hurt Haruhi. She felt her heart sink as she realised all that he had given up for her. 

A plan formed, slowly and reluctantly, and Haruhi realised just how much she would have to change and how much she would have to give up to make things right. More than enough to cancel that debt on the vase, the one that Tamaki-sempai had cleared so early. If it made things right and brought the club, back with or without her, it would be worth it.

Her phone buzzed again, and this time she pulled it out. Looking at the number that was calling, she smiled, a plan coming to mind. 

Never mind Kyoya-bloody-Ootori, Haruhi knew exactly how to deal with this. She flipped open the phone and answered. "Hey, Good to hear from you….listen…..yeah, I'm sorry….but I need a favour, I'm still at Ouran, can you give me a lift home?"

She stood and made her way down to the Ouran Entrance. After all this time amongst the high and mighty at Ouran, Grandmother Suoh was a fool if she didn't realise that even a commoner could learn the game. If she wanted Haruhi off the game board, if it meant getting Tamaki, and the Host Club back, that's exactly what she would get.


	3. Reflections: Part Two, Kyoya.

Kyoya remained staring at the door as two additional maids entered and joined the first to begin packaging up the final remnants of the host club's paraphernalia, but he waited, watching the same door swing slowly closed for the second time that evening. His eyes followed every inch of its arc to the final resounding click, before realizing that Haruhi had no intention of returning. He stood still for a moment, before sighing and bringing his thumb and forefinger up beneath the edge of his glasses to rub tiredly at his eyes. It had been a long day, but the last few moments seemed to have drained the last of his reserves and now all he wanted was to return home, fall in to blessed sleep and try to forget this whole week had ever happened.

 

He turned away from the all too enticing exit, his eyes passing over the maids busy wrapping and packing the other painstakingly picked china, until his eyes lit on the debris that Haruhi had left strewn on the floor, and the sole unbroken saucer caught his eye. Making his way over to where it lay amongst the other shattered pieces, he picked it up, carefully avoiding the broken shards of china that surrounded it. Turning it over in his hands, he noticed that although it had remained relatively intact there was now a chip that marred its gilded edge and shallow cracks defacing the fine glaze that coated the surface. He rubbed his thumb over the roughened edge repeatedly, a sad smile reaching his lips as he mused on how closely this sole piece of china mirrored his group of friends today. The group that Tamaki had somehow, in his own wonderful, crazy way had gathered together over the past two years. Still held together somehow; but on the verge of breaking apart, and one piece seemingly removed entirely.

 

He made his way slowly to his old desk and sat, turning the saucer over and over in his hands, staring pensively at the twirling pattern of the china as it revolved in his grasp. Ignoring the maids as they packed and cleaned, barely noticing the steadily darkening evening outside the windows; trying not to focus on anything really, only blues and greens and gold changing to white, over and over again. But the revolving colours seemed to draw him in, and with the spinning colours the memories of the past week cascaded through his mind.

 

Memories of the day that Tamaki had moved into the main Suoh residence...

 

Tamaki had called him repeated that day, but that was nothing new - Tamaki called him numerous times almost every day, normally to talk incessantly about crazy grandiose plans for the next host club session, or to gripe about the twins teasing him, or the twins bothering Haruhi, or just to talk about Haruhi, his beloved daughter….

 

Kyoya had been busy that day, ironically, looking into what the lawyer of the Suoh household was up to and trying to figure out what it what it could mean for Tamaki's future. By the time he received Tamaki's message to say that he was being accepted into the Suoh residence, it was too late and Tamaki was already firmly ensconced in the main house, without his staff, his dog, or his phone, - and Kyoya was left with no way to contact him and no idea what to say if he had. With Tamaki's message came a feeling of dread that lodged in Kyoya's stomach, a feeling that things were changing, and not necessarily for the better.

 

When he had finally seen him at the start of the new term, Tamaki had told him of his grandmother's orders that he was only to attend classes at Ouran and then return home to study the Suoh business; he would no longer be able to attend the host club, or socialize in any way with his friends. And though Kyoya could see how isolated he had become, Tamaki had been so happy about being finally accepted and so determined that he would make Grandmother Suoh proud and so sure that his isolation was only temporary, that Kyoya hadn't the heart to burden him with his fears, or to stand in Tamaki's way. So he merely waited to see what would happen next.

 

Kyoya felt a swell of anger towards the Suoh matriarch. She had always looked down on her illegitimate grandson- had never wanted to see him as a worthy heir and lately she was constantly testing the limits of his loyalty. No matter what he accomplished, whether it was the highest grades, a perfect piano recital, charming the important daughters of his grandmother’s clients or behaving perfectly at the rare family function he was invited to attend. None of it seemed to matter to her.

 

She had always shown that she detested the idea of the Host Club but had never interfered in it, as if she had, it would have shown that she had acknowledged Tamaki in some small way. But Kyoya had always known that when the day came that she finally did accept Tamaki as the Suoh heir, she would find some way to destroy it. In that she had actually surpassed even Kyoya’s expectations, instead of taking the club away from Tamaki, she had done worse; she had taken Tamaki away from the club.

 

She knew that the threat of never allowing him to see his mother again was enough to make him comply with her wishes and god knows his father never seemed to stand up for him, but no, that wasn't enough for her. It seemed that she was going to use every card she had to hand to keep Tamaki in line, and if the threat of keeping his mother away wasn't enough, she was going to use Haruhi's secret to make him feel guilty for ruining the girl's life, and bringing shame on the Suoh name. One more thing his grandmother would use to bind Tamaki to her will, one more thing she could use to tear their little club apart.

 

Kyoya had wanted nothing more than to go to the School Chairman and demand that he stand up for his son, for him to defend Tamaki and his place in the host club, which was the most popular one in the school and the most influential - but Kyoya hadn't dared do it. The alliance between the Ootori's and the Suoh's was a difficult and delicate one to negotiate and Kyoya's tenuous relationship with his own father and the fear of what he might do if his son had stood in his way or interfered in the alliance between the two families had given him pause. That hesitation had cost Tamaki and Kyoya their self-made little family, but they weren't the only ones affected by this.

 

Hikaru and Karou had been furious - the one group they had finally willingly become a part of - all thanks to Tamaki's tenacious will - was being pulled apart. Mitsukuni was in tears and Takashi, well, it was hard to tell what Takashi was thinking most of the time, but Kyoya was willing to bet that if Mitsukuni was upset, Takashi was pretty irate. While the twins and the others were all for rushing in and rescuing Tamaki, they were bound by the same ties Kyoya was. Their families all had dealings with each other and to interfere in Suoh family business couldn't bode well for any of them. Or Tamaki.

 

But it was thoughts of Haruhi that plagued him now. Of how she had become the most recent pawn in Grandmother Suoh's plans. Haruhi was the one who had been dragged unceremoniously into their world against her will and had her life taken over, while never really being part of theirs. She above them all, was the one with the most to lose, the one who, with a flick of the Chairman's pen could have lost her scholarship and have been expelled from Ouran, would have lost the future she worked so hard to achieve -and yet she was the one that had fought so hard for them all.

 

How was it that she was the one that was brave enough to face the Chairman? To demand his help, and point out his fear. Why was she the one to put herself in the firing line for them all?  
When Kyoya had received the message that Haruhi and the twins had gone to the Suoh Headquarters and were meeting with the Chairman, he had felt a brief twinge of irritation at their interference. He had dragged Tamaki there, unsure of what to expect, and then had stood frozen beside Tamaki in the doorway of the Chairman's office and watched as Haruhi; such a small slight figure, had stood tall against the Suoh Chairman and demanded answers.

 

Kyoya had found himself awed by her, that she would take a stand when the rest of them feared to do so. Tamaki had strode forward demanding that she stay quiet, but Kyoya had been unable to move, silenced by the strength and anger in her eyes. The hurt that entered those dark eyes as she listened to Tamaki tell her that she had to leave as she was being bothersome had made him want to look away. As she turned to leave, her eyes met his for the briefest of moments, and he saw that hurt fade, as if reluctant to let another see it, instead her eyes narrowed in determination and he felt an unfamiliar wave of shame under that steady gaze. And then it was gone and she was gone, striding past him out the door, the others following after, while he remained frozen in the doorway, doing nothing to help.

 

As Tamaki walked by him to return to school, Kyoya had glanced back at the Chairman and knew in that moment that the club was finished. The Chairman loved his son, but if the club was going to interfere with Tamaki becoming the Suoh heir, by its members causing scenes in the Suoh headquarters - something that would surely come to Grandmother Suoh's attention - then Kyoya knew the Chairman would remove that obstacle. Kyoya sighed as he turned away, if only Haruhi had stayed away….

 

Then her actions this evening had left him feeling so wrong-footed. Her pleading for him to help her fix the host club and help Tamaki, had made him feel inexplicably angry. Didn't she know he wanted to? But he was caught in the middle, and if she hadn't interfered he might have been able to think of something? But it was too late now. So he had lashed out at her and her reaction had been startling to say the least.

 

The words she spoke and the sight of her dashing the china to the ground still shocked him. Haruhi, usually so calm; normally taking everything in her stride, was talking down to Kyoya, breaking china and crying? He was still unsure of why he found himself pulling her away, into his arms, holding her close and trying to comfort her. And when her crying spell had passed, he had felt relief; it was a just passing moment. That was all. 

 

Until he looked at her, and those dark eyes had met his, and even now he still felt that feeling of being drawn in, drawing closer, wanting something….

 

Someone cleared their throat nearby and he looked up dazedly at one of the maids, who was regarding him curiously. From the way she was looking at him, she had obviously been trying to get his attention for a while. He found himself floundering for a moment, unable to remember her name and he shook his head slightly to clear it, coming back to his senses as he straightened from where he was slouched in his chair.

 

"Yes Mariko? What is it?" he said finally.

 

"I'm sorry to bother you Ootori-sama, I just wished to let you know we had finished. I have arranged for the sets to be returned to the house and placed in storage until you require them again."

 

"That's fine. Thank you Mariko." The maid remained where she was, still regarding him uncertainly.

 

"Was there something else?" he asked a little sharply. He felt a brief twinge of remorse as he watched her give a little start of surprise at his harsh tone, but he remained silent and a moment later she gestured to a small box that lay on one of the coffee tables.

 

"I just wondered Ootori-sama, what you wished done with the remaining pieces of that set?" She nodded to the piece he still held in his hands. "They are very pretty. It seems a pity to just dispose of them."

 

He stood and made his way to the box, peering in he saw that only two cups and saucers remained, and the small coffee pot and an even smaller cream-jug. He stared at them for a moment, before placing the chipped saucer he still held in his hands to rest gently amongst the other items.

 

"I'll take care of them." He said quietly without looking up, not quite knowing why he had said it at all, he should just have let her take them away. "That's all for the evening, you may return to the house." He heard the maid make her way to the door, but when he failed to hear the door opening he looked up once more, his eyes narrowing in annoyance.

 

"What is it now?" His tone became cold as his impatience rose. Normally his dark manner alone would be enough to send a maid scuttling away, but Mariko straightened her shoulders under the Shadow-King's gaze and he found himself admiring her tenacity, if not her obvious lack of self-preservation instinct.

 

"I just….well…. you don't seem quite yourself Ootori-Sama," She said haltingly, "I just wondered….if something was wrong…. or if perhaps you were unwell?" She seemed to freeze as if expecting a rebuke.

 

He almost laughed as he watched her stumbling over her words. Normally he would have told her in no uncertain terms that she had no place to question him, about anything; and that if she did so again she would be looking for employment elsewhere. But honestly he hadn't the energy for any of it tonight and her remarks had hit a little too close to home. Something was wrong - many things were wrong really and frankly he was sick of it.

 

"No, I'm fine. Ootori's are always fine." He said finally, quietly, not bothering with his usual dark glare, "That is all Mariko, you can leave." This time his tone brooked no argument, she left and he was finally alone.

 

He looked around the empty room, everything was cleared, all signs that the Host Club had ever been there had been wiped away. His eyes were drawn to the spot where he and Haruhi had stood barely half an hour before and he felt the phantom sensation of her warm skin and soft hair on his fingertips. Suddenly he found he didn't want to be here in this empty room any longer, and he picked up the box that held the remnants of Haruhi's tantrum, and made his way to the door, pulling it open, flicking off the light, and walking away without a backward glance. Although as he walked down the corridor, he would have been lying if he had said that he didn't pause for a moment when he heard the door click shut behind him.

 

He made his way swiftly down the stairs, and through the side doors where his driver waited, opening the door of the car the moment Kyoya appeared. Stepping in, he placed the box gently down beside him, before leaning back in the seat, sighing in relief as the door closed behind him and the chauffeur made his way around the car to the driver's side. He was about to direct him to take him home, when he saw the main entrance doors swing open, and the object of his most recent thoughts walked through.

 

Haruhi stood there for a moment, illuminated in a pool of lamplight and Kyoya's hand reached instinctively for the door handle, wanting to call to her, wanting to offer her a ride home, wanting….that something again. The moment his fingers touched the handle, he saw another car pull up, one he recognized easily. The car's door opened and Haruhi stepped forward, but her eyes swept over the schools driveway, alighting briefly on his car and he imagined that her eyes met his for a moment despite the dark evening and the tinted glass that separated them. Then she ducked into the other car and was swiftly driven away.

 

He cursed the Hitachiin twins under his breath and then wondered at his reaction, before shaking it off and facing forward. He met the chauffeur's eyes in the mirror and nodded shortly. The car moved off, taking him home, but he couldn't help reaching into the box beside him, retrieving the damaged saucer and spinning it through his fingers once more, allowing the feeling of cool china against his skin to calm the sensations that lingered on his fingertips, distracting him from the memory of soft skin, and the silken strands of hair that he had carded those fingers through over and over again.


	4. Makeovers and Do-Overs

As they sped through the lamp-lit streets, Haruhi finished speaking and silence fell in the back of the town car. She sat facing the twins looking from one face to the other waiting for some reaction - but the silence remained unbroken, dragging on, the twins merely staring back at her in consternation.

"So?" she said finally, "What do you think?"

Hikaru and Kaoru glanced at each other, seeming to communicate silently in that way that only they had, but then they turned back to face her. Kaoru took a deep breath, leaning forward as he opened his mouth as if to say something, but then he stilled, mouth closing again, his brows drawn together in perplexity. Haruhi found herself holding her breath, waiting, then he sat back in his seat again, sighing audibly before glancing over at Hikaru again. His brother on the other hand, had turned away from both of them to look out the window, the light of the street lamps that passed, illuminating the interior and showing his face set in a grim scowl.

Well this was a first - she had left the twins speechless. And if this had been any other time, Haruhi would have congratulated herself on the fact. But now, their silence was making her feel edgy.

"What?" she said, exasperated, "It makes sense, doesn't it?"

Kaoru nodded slowly, "I guess, but -"

Hikaru spun, slapping his hand over Kaoru's mouth, before turning his glare on her.

"Are you crazy? You can't just decide to do this." His tone was filled with an anger that made Haruhi's rise in turn.

"Why not? It's my life. It wasn't like I was asking your permission!" She said, before adding reluctantly, "I just wanted your help."

"Well the answer is no, I'm not going to just let you -" Hikaru began, but Kaoru broke free of his brother's grasp and elbowed him in the side, effectively shutting him up.

"Why?" Kaoru asked, "Why would you do it now?"

She looked from one to the other and then stared down at her hands, clasping them together as she shrugged. "Well, why not? It never mattered to me whether people thought I was a boy or a girl. And it's not like I have to keep up the pretence for the Host Club anymore." 

"But now everyone is going to know!" Hikaru said.

Haruhi looked up at him, her brow furrowing in confusion, "So? What difference does that make?"

That only seemed to make Hikaru scowl harder at her and Kaoru reached out to grasp his brother's hand gently, calming him. They twins regarded each other briefly, before Hikaru pulled his hand away and returned his gaze to the passing scenery, while Kaoru turned his attention to her once more.

"I think what Hikaru means is – you've kept this secret for so long, if you suddenly turn up at school as a girl, people are going to talk - everybody is going to talk and some of them are going to be angry that you've deceived them all this time." He looked at her searchingly "Why would you put yourself though that?"

Haruhi paused for a long moment, images of the times she had spent with the Host Club running though her mind, but memories of the last week were at the forefront. Of Tamaki and how he had been forced to distance himself from the others, of Honey and the tears he had shed when he heard the club was finished, the hardness around Mori's eyes as he watched the smaller boy cry, the twin's anger, and Kyoya - Kyoya sitting alone in the music room tonight, Kyoya and his ever-present bloody notebook, nothing to write in it now that club business was done, Kyoya telling her it wasn't her fault - but still refusing to help her fix it.

He was probably right of course. In all likelihood Grandmother Suoh had numerous methods of keeping Tamaki under her thumb, and keeping the Host Club disbanded. But if the fact that Haruhi had pretended to be a boy was one of them - well then Haruhi would remove that particular card from her deck. Especially if it meant that the others may have the smallest chance of resurrecting the Host Club eventually, even if her plan meant that she would not be able to be part of the club again - it also helped if it proved Kyoya "know-it-all" Ootori wrong.

She shook off those dark thoughts, realising that the twins were still watching her, waiting for an answer and she shrugged again, smiling slightly.

"I guess, just because its time. There's no reason for me to keep it a secret anymore." She said, her voiced filled with enthusiasm, which she had to admit, if only to herself, was less than wholehearted. She gave them her brightest smile, "So what do you say? Will you help me with one last makeover project?"

________________________________________  
The following morning:

Tamaki's soft snore's cut off abruptly as his alarm went off. He stretched, revelling in the warmth of his bed, before opening his eyes and staring at the ceiling. He lay there for a moment, smiling, expecting Antoinette to leap on his bed any second and begin licking his face, his own personal furry second alarm call, but then his smile faded. Of course she wouldn't, Antoinette wasn't with him anymore, for an instant his face filled with sadness and he closed his eyes tightly against the morning light.

Then he brushed it off, sitting up in bed and running his hands though his hair. It was a new day, another opportunity to prove himself to his Grandmother. The sooner he did, the sooner everything would return to normal and he could have his friends and Antoinette back - and his mother - finally his mother. If he just worked hard enough and followed the rules, everything would be fine.

He showered and got himself ready for school, then fixing his customary smile in place, he opened the door and made his way downstairs, ready for the day ahead. Maybe if he was lucky, he might be able to catch a glimpse of Haruhi today, might be able to send her a fond, reassuring smile. Unnoticed of course.

OoOoOoO

When the twin's alarm went off, they blinked and opened bloodshot eyes, regarding each other blearily for a moment. Pushing themselves upright from the bed where they fell asleep only a few measly hours earlier, they looked around themselves tiredly, before remembering what had happened the night before, then their eyes locked on one another's.

It had been in the early hours of the morning before they had finished with Haruhi. Kaoru had insisted that if she was to follow through on her plan then she needed to turn up to the Academy the following morning looking as feminine as possible, to make people wonder how they had ever thought she was a boy at all. Their hope was that the students would say that they had suspected it all along, anything to avoid the embarrassment that they had been fooled and by a commoner no less. That would mean a complete makeover.

Thankfully one of the outfits they had removed from the music room earlier in the day had been one of the Ouran Academy's girl's uniforms that the Club had kept, purely in case one of their guests had ever damaged their own uniform - only that - nothing to do with the fact that certain host club members - who would remain nameless - had secretly wanted to see Haruhi in it.

Who'd have known that they finally would and that it would have been slightly too big for the petite girl. Kaoru had taken it away to his mother's workroom to make the necessary adjustments, leaving Hikaru to work on Haruhi's hair and makeover, alone. 

Hikaru had never been more thankful in his life to be without his twin's company for once, so that Kaoru couldn't see how he waited nervously as Haruhi took a brief shower in the twins en-suite, only to appear once again, dressed in Kaoru's dressing gown. He had gestured her to sit before the dressing table, thanking his lucky stars that she didn't want to wear a long girlish wig even as his hands trembled while drying and fixing her short hair into a more feminine style, unable to meet her eyes in the mirror.

She had sat patiently, talking little as he worked her tresses into a work of art, slight curls here and there, her bangs parted to highlight her dark eyes; he held his hand over those eyes as he worked the hairspray over the strands to hold them in place. As he removed it, her gaze met his questioningly, he just smiled and told her to close them once again as he worked on her eyebrows, plucking each errant strand as gently as he could, relishing the feeling of her soft skin under his fingers as he held her face still, taking a little too long as every second her eyes were closed was another moment he could just watch her without feeling like he was burning up under her dark gaze.

Suddenly Kaoru burst back into the room, Hikaru and Haruhi turned to face him and he held up the altered uniform proudly. "Should fit like a glove!" he said, with a smug smile.

And it had. Both twins had stared in astonishment as the new Haruhi had walked into their midst, before turning to each other and nodding in agreement that the makeover was an unmitigated success and giving Haruhi the thumbs up. Then they called their driver to take her home after Haruhi loudly and pretty violently - Hikaru rubbed his bruised arm dejectedly - refused to sleep over.

As they walked her out, Kaoru turned to hand her a bag of make-up that they had put together from the remnants of the host club stock, while giving her implicit instructions on how to use each one - not too much, you want to look like a girl, not like, well… your Dad - that had earned another slap on the arm for each of them. But before he handed it over, he grasped her hand with his free one, ignoring Hikaru’s muffled gasp beside him.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked.

She looked back him, then at Hikaru and shook her head, "Honestly? No, I'm not, and I'll admit I'm nervous, I don't think I was very girly even before I started at Ouran, so I'm not sure how well I'll be able to play it now." She said, pulling at a curled strand of hair, but then she smiled and straightened her shoulders. "But I'm just going back to who I should have been when I started this school. Who I should have been before getting gum in my hair, and wearing boys clothes to school, and breaking a ridiculously over-priced vase in a room full of very strange boys." She grinned at them and they found themselves grinning back. She gave Kaoru's hand a squeeze, "I'll be fine."

Then she smiled and batted her newly darkened eyelashes at them. “Thank you for helping this damsel in distress tonight." She reached up and quickly kissed each of them on the cheek, then turned and with her head held high made her way to the waiting car. Never looking back to see Kaoru grinning at her from the entrance way, or Hikaru's shocked stare, his fingers held to the cheek she had just kissed.

The twins prepared for bed, each lost in their own thoughts. Kaoru seemed to fall asleep almost at once, but Hikaru fell back against the pillows, picturing Haruhi in her uniform, imagining various scenarios, where and how he would finally ask her on a date and her shy giggling acceptance. Then Kaoru moved, turning away from him, murmuring something un-intelligible. He seemed restless, clutching at his pillow, his fingers searching for something out of reach. Hikaru watched him, guilt welling up within him. They had always liked the same things, it stood to reason that they would fall for the same girl too. So how was Hikaru meant to tell Haruhi how he felt, if it meant hurting Kaoru in the process. He settled back, resolving to find a solution but soon the late hour caught up with him and he drifted into sleep.

Now waking, Hikaru and Kaoru's eyes met and silently their hands reached out grasping each other's tightly, thinking of the day ahead. Then they grinned. "Well, here goes!" they whispered in unison.

OoOoOoO

By the time Haruhi's alarm went off she was already staring at herself in the mirror, trying to ignore the bags under her eyes from too little sleep. Oh who was she kidding, she hadn't slept a wink; she couldn't relax at all after the makeover, finally comprehending the enormity of what she had decided to do, realizing that everyone was going to be staring at her today, that everyone was going to see her as her true self for once. Well, some semblance of her true self she thought, pulling at the collar of her dress.

Brushing her newly styled hair out of her eyes, she applied a little more of the make-up the twins had given her to hide her pale, slightly drawn features and straightened her fitted clothes for the tenth time in as many minutes. She fixed a bright smile in place, barely recognising the girl staring confidently back at her and wishing she actually felt that same assurance within.

She sat on the edge of her bed, imagining how today would proceed. The whispers, the condemnation, the accusations, the staring. It wasn't going to be pleasant, but she would just focus on the Hitachiin twins, they swore to stand by her today and she knew could count on their support; just as she knew if they was ever in a similar bind they could count on her just the same.

She had heard her father coming in a little while ago after his night shift at the bar, and she tried to sit calmly, not fidgeting, until she heard his loud snore's resounding throughout their small apartment. She wasn't ready to face him just yet, she would deal with his squealing delight when she got home from school that afternoon. She smiled sheepishly as she thought of how overjoyed he would be to see her like this.

Finally she stood, stealing another quick glance at her reflection and shaking her head ruefully at the sight, before slipping out of her room and into the kitchen to grab breakfast and make her lunch. Then steeling herself, she left the apartment to walk to the train that would take her to Ouran and the day ahead.

OoOoOoO

A blaring noise pulled him from his dreams and Kyoya's arm lashed out flinging the offending alarm against the nearest wall, where it disintegrated. Sighing he closed his eyes, sleep came again and she was there once more. His arms were wrapped around her, holding her close, she looked up at him, confused and uncertain, but he smiled at her confidently; he knew he would find a way to make things right. She smiled up at him, trusting him, and he closed the distance between them, finally kissing her after what seemed like weeks of waiting, and then again and again, deeper. Then she was pulled away, he tried, but couldn't follow her and she faded...

Another alarm went off with its annoyingly familiar chime, and Kyoya slammed the inconsiderate device against the nearest hard surface, where it gave one last sorrowful whine before falling silent. Darkness and peace once more. She was standing there, watching him, her pale figure seemingly the only source of light in the dimness. Her dark eyes were fixed on him and he found himself reaching for her, wanting to hold her, to trace his fingers over her soft skin, to kiss her. But she stepped aside, out of his reach and suddenly he could see the rest of the Host club standing there, frowning softly at them. He stared at her but she was still looking at the others, smiling at them. He reached for her again, but she walked away, laughing as she joined the other hosts and his dream faded.

Another of Kyoya's veritable arsenal of alarms went off for the third time that morning and he finally dragged himself into some semblance of a wakeful state. He reached out to shatter the most recent offender into submission, but his fingers brushed against something cold and hard and he felt it slipping off the edge of his nightstand. His other hand reached out unconsciously to catch it and he found himself holding the same saucer that Haruhi had damaged the night before. The alarm blared in the background as he stared at the piece for a moment, then placed it carefully back on his nightstand. He gently turned the alarm off and sat up in the bed, leaning back against the pillows as he rubbed his eyes tiredly.

When he had finally made it home the night before, he had joined his parents for dinner, trying to concentrate on their conversation and answer his father's questions without showing how distracted he was, but it had quickly become an exercise in futility. He had excused himself early under the pretence of having to prepare for an exam for the next day and finally escaped to his room. Turning on his computer, he had hoped to distract himself with stock prices and spreadsheets, but the figures soon became a meaningless jumble and he found himself just sitting there staring blankly at the screen, his mind constantly replaying the events of the day, especially those final few moments with Haruhi in the music room. Giving up any hope of accomplishing anything useful that night, he had turned the computer off and gotten ready for bed, only to find himself lying there, sleepless, wondering about her, if she was ok now? Had she calmed down? Was she still angry with him? 

He could still see that look of disappointment in her eyes, and that was what grated on his nerves more than anything else, that she would think so badly of him. It made him want to prove her wrong, to find a way to help Tamaki and get the Host Club back together, no matter how hopeless a cause it looked right now.

And when he had finally fallen asleep with that thought in his mind, she had invaded his dreams. Time after time she was there, firstly looking at him with those accusing eyes, and even in his dreams he found that he wanted to find a way to erase the displeasure in her gaze. So he had thought of a plan, a way to fix everything, and those looks of accusation had turned to admiration and he had relished it. But now in the light of day, he had no idea what the plan had been and was even more confused about why he cared so much.

Shaking off those dreams, he finally rose, showered quickly and dressed, making his way downstairs and heading straight out the door and into his car. The driver surprised by his earlier than usual appearance, hurried to the driver's seat, before speeding away under Kyoya's curt instructions. Kyoya sat back tapping his fingers rhythmically against the door's ledge, barely noticing the passing scenery in his impatience to get to school. He would see Tamaki and the others, check on Haruhi and make sure that she was ok, then he would be able to lay these ridiculous worries to rest and he would be able to forget all thoughts of holding her, of kissing her. He would be able think rationally once more.


	5. First Day All Over Again

Kyoya stepped from the car pulling his book bag behind him and slung it over his shoulder as he eased the car door shut with his elbow. He stood there for a moment looking around at the few students that were milling about the school entrance. It was still quite early and the majority of students had yet to turn up, but Kyoya had arrived early for that exact reason, hoping to place himself in prime position to see the other club members as they arrived and to have the time to speak to them before school began, especially Tamaki and Haruhi.

As the car pulled away, he drew his iPad from his bag before moving towards the entrance to sit on one of the benches that lay on either side of the main door, planning to spend the time waiting for the others constructively, looking over the stocks and shares that he had been too distracted to work on the night before - but before he had made it three paces he heard someone yelling his name and half turned to look.

The air left his lungs in a choking gasp as two arms were suddenly wrapped around his neck and he was tackled bodily from behind causing him to stumble a few steps forward and almost drop his beloved tablet. His name was yelled excitedly once more, but this time directly into his ear and he winced, jerking his head away, ears ringing painfully from the near deafening noise that came from an all too familiar voice.

"Good morning Tamaki." He said, as he righted himself, slipping the tablet carefully back in his bag before reaching to pull the constricting limbs from around his throat.

"Hey Kyoya!" Tamaki said brightly, still clinging to him, "How are you this fine spring morning?"

"I'd be better if you weren't strangling me," He said, drily, "It's a little too early in the day for oxygen deprivation." He continued trying to pry Tamaki's arms from around his neck, only for them to disappear as Tamaki released him with an apologetic chuckle. Kyoya ran fingers through his now dishevelled hair and pushed his glasses firmly back into place as he turned to face his friend. Tamaki looked the same as ever, all bright smiles and barely contained energy and Kyoya felt himself relax at the sight of him, only now realising just how truly concerned he had been for his friend. 

"You're here early, that's not like you." Kyoya said, then immediately wished he could call the words back as he saw the fleeting shadow that darkened his friend's features before Tamaki fixed his customary smile back in place.

"Well, Grandmother said that I was only to leave the house to attend school and then come straight back. But she never set a limit on how early I could leave, so here I am!" Tamaki grinned in self-satisfaction.

Kyoya smirked back at him, but resolved to try to come to school earlier each morning, so that his friend wouldn't have to hang around the school grounds alone. Although, looking at the admiring glances that numerous girls and even some of the boys were throwing at his friend, he doubted the blonde would have been lonesome for long.

"Anyway, it's far too nice a day to laze around at home," Tamaki continued, grabbing Kyoya's arm and dragging him up the steps to the school entrance. "And now that you're here, we can grab a coffee in the dining hall and go sit in the garden, and you can tell me everything that has been going on, I feel like I haven't seen you in forever, even though we see each other every school day and… Oh, and you can help me study for the physics exam, you're better at it than I am, I still haven't gotten my head around that last class..." Still talking a mile a minute Tamaki pulled Kyoya through the main doors of the academy and down the hallway.

Kyoya sighed throwing a wistful glance back at the school steps as he gave up any hope of seeing Haruhi before class began. He managed to increase his pace so that he was walking beside Tamaki instead of being pulled along in his wake, but the other boy still maintained his grip on Kyoya's arm and despite his usual reluctance at being a subject of Tamaki's overly physical affection, Kyoya didn't pull away. Tamaki had been through a lot over the past few weeks, being cooped up in a less than welcoming house with no one to talk to was obviously wearing on him. He clearly needed an outlet for his pent up energy and Kyoya had just resigned himself to being subjected to a half hour of Tamaki's incessant chatter when he noticed that the blond had suddenly fallen silent. Kyoya glanced up to see Tamaki waving wildly to someone further down the corridor and turned to look in that direction. The twins were walking up the hallway, deep in discussion, oblivious to the blonde who was making his way towards them still waving like a demented prince greeting his subjects.

"Kaoru! Hikaru!” Tamaki called excitedly. Kyoya watched as the twins stilled, breaking off their intense conversation and looking up at the approaching blond in surprise.

Strange that they had all come to school so early today. He found himself looking around the corridor, almost expecting to see Honey and Mori bearing down on them. Or Haruhi, he thought hopefully, but the hallway was empty except for the four boys. He followed Tamaki over to where the twins stood, wondering what had brought them here so early, and noticing now how Hikaru seemed to pale at their approach, whereas a flush had risen over Kaoru's features as he looked from Tamaki to Hikaru and then turned his attention to picking invisible lint from his jacket sleeve.

"Hey guys!" Tamaki cried sunnily.

"Hey." The twins mumbled in unison.

"Well, aren't we all the epitome of enthusiastic Ouran student's to be here so early." Kyoya said a hint of question in his voice. The Hitachiin's didn't take the bait, merely nodding in agreement. Hikaru was looking from Tamaki to Kyoya and back again as if waiting for something, but Kaoru didn't look up, still picking at his sleeve with such concentration that Kyoya expected to see the fabric reduced to frayed threads at any moment.

"So, how are you guys doing?" Tamaki asked enthusiastically.

"Fine." Again the twins spoke in tandem, and then almost as an afterthought Hikaru added, "How about you?"

"I'm good." Tamaki said, smiling, but Kyoya remained silent regarding the twins curiously, wondering at their strange behaviour.

Tamaki glanced from one twin to another, the cheerfulness falling from his face as the strange tension between them grew. “Listen guy's, I'm sor-" Tamaki began, but Hikaru interrupted suddenly.

Hey, sorry Sempai, but we have to go. No time for chatting this morning! Kaoru is going to help me with some French homework, we have an exam, and you know how hopeless I am at it. I really want to keep my grades up, so…." Hikaru said, taking a step away.

"Oh! If it's French homework I could help you!" Tamaki said, “C'est mon meilleur sujet, n'est-ce pas?” 

Hikaru winced slightly. "No that's ok Sempai, Kaoru has notes made out and everything. We'll be fine." Hikaru reached for his brother's hand and pulled him swiftly away down the corridor. "We'll catch you guys later!" he called back over his shoulder, leaving Tamaki and Kyoya staring after them. Kaoru gave one apologetic glance back at Tamaki, before hurrying to keep up with this twin.

"Huh," Tamaki sighed dejectedly, as he watched them hurry away, "guess they're still mad at me for what happened with the club."

"No, I'm sure they understand. They know you wouldn't give up on the host club unless you had to." Kyoya said.

"But it's my fault it ended, it's my Grandmother and Father who broke the club up." Tamaki said, an all-too-familiar air of ominous dejection forming around him.

Kyoya slung an arm around his friends shoulder, "Don't worry, I'm sure they'll get over it. Let's grab that coffee, and I'll talk you through those Physics theorems."

Tamaki nodded slowly in agreement, allowing himself to be dragged away and they made their way to the dining hall but Kyoya couldn't resist casting a curious backwards glance at the twins retreating forms as they turned a corner and found himself wondering what they were up to.

OoOoOoO

The twins rounded the corner and came to a stop, pressing their backs against the wall as the released a simultaneous sigh of relief.

"That was close." Kaoru muttered and Hikaru nodded in agreement, peeking around the corner to see if the other two ex-hosts were gone. They were, and he turned to face his twin once more.

"For a second there I thought they knew." Hikaru said, rubbing the back of his neck as the tension left him.

"Would it be so bad if they did?" Kaoru asked, pushing himself upright to face his brother.

"Kyoya? Probably not." Hikaru said, "You know how he is. He wouldn't get involved unless it benefited him in some way and since the host club is done and Haruhi's debt is paid, he wouldn't care; but Tamaki would try to talk her out of it and this is Haruhi's choice, so we keep the secret until she shows up and … and…"

"And all hell breaks loose?" 

Hikaru slumped back against the wall again. "Yeah, something like that."

"Well at least they didn't catch on." Kaoru said,

"Yeah, but no thanks to you!" Hikaru looked at him sullenly, "What was up with you? You just left me hanging there, staring at your sleeve like it was the centre of the universe and leaving me to deal with them.” He pointed angrily at his other half, “I thought we had a plan?" 

"I'm sorry, I just – I - I couldn't lie to them." Kaoru said, batting his brother’s hand away.

Hikaru stared at him incredulously, "We weren't lying to them! It's not like they were asking ‘Hey, is Haruhi planning on turning up dressed as a girl today?’"

"I know! You're right about Kyoya - but I can't help thinking how hurt Tamaki will be when…" 

"Hey! I never wanted this; you were the one that said I should respect her decision." Hikaru interrupted, his face lighting up in anger, "I didn't want her to do it, but if this is what she wants then I am going to help her. I thought you were on board with it?" 

Kaoru muttered something under his breath.

"What was that?" Hikaru asked darkly.

"I said, of course I am! She's my friend and if this is what she wants then I'll be there for her -" Kaoru replied angrily, raising a hand and poking Hikaru in the chest " -but maybe you shouldn't forget that it was Tamaki that tried time and time again to get to know us. He was the one that got us to join the host club and make friends. He’s the whole reason we met Haruhi! So you'll just have to forgive me if I feel bad for deceiving him." The twins stood there glaring heatedly at one another. Then Kaoru slumped, looking at Hikaru apologetically, "Sorry. I guess I'm just nervous."

Hikaru shook his head, his face lined in worry. "That's not it Kaoru. You've been acting strangely for weeks. I used to know exactly what was on your mind, but now you just shut down, you barely talk to me at all anymore."

Kaoru flinched at the accusation his skin growing pale and Hikaru leaned in wrapping his arms around his twin, staring pleadingly into his eyes. "Please? Please tell me what's wrong? I’m worried about you."

Kaoru sighed, dropping his head to rest it on his brothers shoulder, feeling the weeks of pent up anxiety that had weighed on him begin to drift away. Of course he could tell his brother how he felt, he could come clean about what had been preying on his mind. He took a deep breath and leaned back to look his twin in the eyes as his hand came up to rest on his brother's shoulder. "Hikaru, I…"

Beep. Beep. Beep….

Both twins jerked away, looking down at their watches. They had set them to alarm when Haruhi's train was due to arrive.

"We still have a few minutes before she gets here Kaoru," Hikaru grasped his brother's hand. "Talk to me. You know you can tell me anything."

His twin pulled away smiling, "We have plenty of time for that, I'll tell you later." Hikaru glared at him disbelievingly, but Kaoru grinned even wider, "I promise. Anyway, it’s nothing important - but now I want to make sure I don't miss Haruhi's grand entrance!"

Hikaru smiled back at him trustingly, "Ok, but we’ll talk about this later,” he said pointedly, then grinned “Let's go!" He said as he turned and made his way to the main door, not seeing how Kaoru’s grin melted away and his mirror image became one of doubt and anxiety, before his brother shook it off putting a reassuring smile in place as he moved to greet Haruhi. Today was her day after all. His problems could wait.

OoOoOoO

Haruhi stood at the gates of the Ouran Academy looking up at the buildings that had been her school for over a year and found herself feeling even more nervous than she had been the first day she had walked this path. She waited at the entrance, trying to work up the nerve to step past the gates, watching the expensive cars as they passed by her making their way up the school's driveway, each moment that passed making her feel more and more inadequate to the task.

Her heartbeat pounded hollowly within her chest, her breathing became shallow and her limbs felt like jelly. She leaned against the wall, wondering how the hell she had thought she could do this. The journey from the train station to the school gates had taken only a few minutes, but now that she was here, she found herself clinging to the wall, unwilling to take another step. The gentle spring breeze flowed around her, bringing the soothing scent of sakura blossoms to her senses and a few of the petals from a nearby tree, caught by the wind, circled playfully around her, coming to rest at her feet and a couple in her hair. But it did nothing to calm her and she remained standing there, frozen.

In her mind a crystal clear scenario played out. If she moved forward, her world would fall apart, everyone would turn on her, she would lose her scholarship, the friendships she had made, she would be ostracised and vilified. Really, she should just turn around and go home. Her right foot tapped subconsciously as if waiting for her to make up her mind and head back towards the station. She glanced back over her shoulder, it would only take a couple of minutes and she could be back home. She could change – come back as the expected male Haruhi, or she could just transfer to another school?

She closed her eyes, shaking her head at the idiocy of that and then a smile slowly formed on her lips.

The first time she had come here, she had been a poor scholarship student. She had known without a doubt that she would never fit in at this most prestigious of schools. Yet, here she was over a year later, friends with some of the most influential boys in the school. She had proved herself wrong then and she would do it again. If she had been able to walk up this path a year ago, dressed abominably, her hair cut awfully short, and without a friend in the place; surely she could do it now when she knew that there were at least two friends waiting for her at the end of the path.

Heart still pounding, she took a step forward, feeling the cool spring air flow around her, cooling her legs and making her ever more aware of the dress she wore instead of the boys trousers she was used to. Another step and the breeze flowed over her neck and arms where the blazer would have covered her before. Each step she took felt like treading though deep water, a journey that should have taken minutes seemed like a lifetime away. Then she looked up, and there were the twins standing on the steps of the entrance waving at her and in the time between thoughts she had joined them.

"Hey." She said. They didn't reply for a moment, they merely stared at her. Hikaru flushed, as a smile reached his lips, but Kaoru grinned outright, then grabbed her and pulled her into a hug.

"You look great." He whispered in her ear.

She saw Hikaru scowl for a moment and she reached for him, pulling the other twin into the embrace, she felt his arm wrap around her, and found herself leaning forward resting her chin on both the twins shoulders as she whispered.

"Thank you for this." She leaned back looking them both in the eyes as best she could, "I mean it. Thank you. I don't know if I could have walked up here if I didn't know you were waiting for me." She placed a gentle kiss on each of their cheeks and then stepped back from their embrace. She stood for a moment looking around her, noticing that a few of the other students were looking at their huddle questioningly, grouping together in twos and threes, and whispering behind their hands as they glanced over at them. She turned back to her friends.

"Hmmm, I think we're garnering a little more attention than I planned for." She said quietly.

Kaoru looked at her, smiling sadly, "I think you need to prepare for more than just curious looks," he rested a hand on her shoulder, "This is going to be hard Haruhi, are you sure you're ready? You could just go home and we could play it off as a joke, but once you step through those doors…"

"…All bets are off," continued Hikaru, staring at her intently. "We don't know how people will react."

"No-one else knows?" Haruhi asked quietly.

"No" Kaoru replied. "We ran into Tamaki and Kyoya earlier -" Both twins noticed how Haruhi had paled at that news and rushed to reassure her. "-but we didn't tell them anything and they didn't seem to suspect. I think you're in the clear!"

"Great!" she said, desperately trying to hide her trepidation. "Now all I have to do is announce to the world that I've been lying to them for over a year…" Her voice trailed off as the enormity of the situation hit her once more.

"Lying is such a strong word." Kaoru said lightly as he turned her to face the entrance, crooking his arm and looping her hand through it in a gentlemanly fashion.

"Yeah," added Hikaru, matching his twins action so that her other arm was linked though his. They moved forward as one walking through the main doorway. "It's not like you ever said you were a boy - you just implied it."

"Implied it for over a year." Haruhi muttered.

"True, but you never lied." Kaoru said, chuckling. Then he looked sideways at her as they continued down the hallway leading to the gardens that made up the centre of the Ouran Academy grounds. "Seriously though, what are you planning to say when people ask why you did it?"

"Honestly, I have no idea." She said, "The truth is probably the best bet -" when she saw the twins look at her in consternation, she added "- well at least some form of the truth!" The hallway that had seemed so quite before suddenly seemed to echo with voices and she looked away from the twins, looking down the corridor and a myriad of faces stared back at her. She could hear parts of the whispered conversations that were going on around her.

"Isn't that Haruhi?"

"Why is he dressed as a girl? Is it a host club event?"

"Ooh is the host club getting back together? I miss Tamaki!"

"I always thought he would look cute in a dress!"

"Ooh, who did his hair, it's so cute."

"Maybe he lost a bet and had to dress as a girl."

The students that lined the hallway all seemed to all be looking at her and their eyes were following each footstep she took. Her skin heated under their scrutiny until the twins led her into the quiet garden. She took a deep breath of relief that was cut off as a shrill scream rent the air.

"Aaaaaahhhhh!" The high pitched shriek made Haruhi recoil, leaning back against the Hitachiins, but suddenly she was pulled from the twins grasp, her face was gripped in two warm hands and suddenly Renge's face filled her vision.

"So cute!" the other girl breathed, as Haruhi tried to pull herself away. The twins stepped forward, but Renge had already spun Haruhi out of their reach. "This uniform is so cute on you!" she gasped, twirling her around before grasping her arms and then staring at Haruhi. "Are you experimenting with cross-dressing like your father?" she asked excitedly.

Haruhi pulled away, holding Renge at arm's length. "Not exactly," she replied breathlessly, trying to steady her heart after such an unexpected assault. "Renge - the thing is - I am a girl."

Renge stared at her for a moment grinning, then the grin faded to a smile, then the smile faded entirely and her brows furrowed in confusion. Renge's hands left Haruhi's arms and suddenly landed on her chest, feeling Haruhi's small breasts experimentally.

Haruhi yelped and leapt backwards at the same time that Renge whispered "Oh!" The two girls stared at each other, the silence growing, Haruhi waiting for Renge's accusations to fall. Then Renge reached out and pulled Haruhi into a hug.

"This is so great!" She cried joyously, spinning them both around. "I've finally made a girlfriend who's into weird stuff like me!" Haruhi pulled herself from the other girls grasp, unable to hold back the wry grin that came to her face, as she realised that at least one of the other students here didn't hate her for the secrets she had kept. Even if that person was Renge, who seemed unfazed by anything. Ever.

As the two girls stood there staring at each other grinning inanely, Haruhi heard a gasp, her eyes turned to the twins, but they seemed to be looking beyond her, their faces slack with shock and a chill crept over her. She turned slowly and saw a familiar blonde form hurrying away around a corner, but then her eyes lighted on a dark-haired figure standing before a bench on the edge of the garden. As she looked at him, he seemed to stare back, but the early morning sunshine cast a glare on the glasses he wore and she couldn't meet his gaze, but could sense those intense grey eyes fixed on her.

The smile slid from her face as Kyoya took a step towards her.


End file.
